How to stay calm with your children?
How many times have you mistakenly yelled at your child out of anger?
Staying relaxed protects your relationship with your child and helps you to deal with challenging situations. With that being said, I can totally understand it can be difficult to keep your cool around the clock. That’s especially true when you face additional pressures such as school being closed or, pandemic stressors.
So how can you remain intact when your child throws a tantrum during dinner?
How about when they start hanging out with friends who belong on their own reality tv show series?
You can make your family life more peaceful and cooperative. Try these tips for parents who want to stay calm.
Preventative Strategies for Staying Calm:
- Understand the reasons behind their reactions. Do you assume that your child is trying to undermine you? In reality, they may be too young to think through any of their actions. Even older children may be busy with dealing with their own issues rather than opposing you.
- Establish Rules and Boundaries. Tug of wars between you and your child can be avoided by setting ground rules in advance. For example, agree to shutting off all technology during certain times instead of arguing about using their phones or tablets at bed time.
- Remove temptations. Try childproofing the ares you all frequent. Especially dangerous objects you can take out of reach. Lock your liquor cabinets or other adult only items.
- Be realistic about attention spans & be prepared. If you have to run errands try doing it with less crowds so your children do not get overstimulated. Bring toys and videos along for long car rides.
- Take Space. Sometimes we just need to take a break. Try deep breathing or even going for a walk around your home. You’ll be less likely to say something you may regret.
Communication Strategies for Staying Calm With Your Child:
- Consider your tone and lower your voice. Your child is more likely to listen if you speak softly. Be firm but kind.
- Empathize and Validate. Try to see the situation from your child’s perspective even when you disagree. Let them know that you care about their feelings.
- Be Simple. Use language that your child can understand. Stick to one message at a time.
- Focus on teaching. Discipline is more about instruction than correction. Ask yourself what you want your child to learn.
- Repeat yourself. Be prepared to go over the same material many times. Repetition helps small children to feel secure and master new tasks.
- Encourage cooperation. Work as a team. Ask your child to assist you and present them with choices. Tell them you appreciate their setting the table when you have to work late. I delve in more about this in this blog post here.
- Laugh Often. Humor can lighten things up. It’s okay to use your children for entertainment as long as you guide them towards becoming responsible adults.
- Offer frequent praise. Notice the things your children do well. Express your gratitude. Tell them that you’re proud of them for studying hard and sharing their toys with their baby brother.
Other Strategies for Staying Calm:
- Build bonds. It will be easier to handle mishaps if you have a strong and close relationship. Spend time with your kids one-on-one and as a family. Share their interests and pay attention to what they have to say.
- Practice self-care. You’ll also feel more stable when you eat healthy, work out, and sleep well. Ensure that your children are getting adequate sleep too.
- Seek professional help. I see many families who feel like they can’t quite get a grip on their children’s behaviors and are exhausted. A family therapist can provide additional coping strategies if you’re struggling with staying calm. You can try asking a friend for a referral or coming into our offices to get the professional help you deserve. .
Your kids will still lose their backpacks and share embarrassing information with their friends. However, skillful planning and communication can minimize conflicts and help you to collaborate with your child during stressful times. Parenting is easier and more effective when you can stay calm.
